What the heck is it that makes one day so much different from the next day with regard to my trousers? I can slide into them like a svelte bunny one day and the next I need industrial lubricants to get them on. Jeez I had a couple of drinks and a takeaway but it is not like I put on 3 inches overnight. Give me a break.
I can’t be dieting at the moment. It is not like I am allergic to diets it is just there are so many better things to be doing than dieting and so many of those things have cream and jam on them. Donuts! I feel like Homer Simpson. Must snap out of it and focus.
I saw a program recently about a girl who danced to Japanese music on Youtube and the next thing she is being whisked off to japan and is an overnight success. Here I am revolving my life around donuts and trousers and there she is on here sixth trip to Tokyo this year. I kind of wandered where I went wrong.
Actually as she was only 14 and Japanese men were buying her bass guitars for her birthday you have to wonder what was right regarding that. Ah well she has parents and I have my own issues to be thinking about.
I think I best get myself sorted and get on with some online shopping as my fridge is looking a bit bare. Are chocolate éclairs healthy? I wonder if they are recommended for those with trouser achievement issues?

It was an interesting unfolding of events: a man who had shot and killed his girlfriend’s boyfriend and then shot a police officer in the face goes on the run threatening to shoot members of the public and then states that he won’t stop shooting until he’s dead, is finally tracked down and dies maybe at his own hands, maybe because he was suffering from some form of convulsions brought about by the taser that the police had used on Read more »

I am now nursing a very bruised hip and it’s all for the sake of cool.

Here is my story–

Walking through London Victoria’s sizeable train station the other week, I was feeling quite depressed. I was wearing my suit, was carrying my brief-case, and was wondering if this was the best it would ever get (did I mention I sell Caravan insurance part time?). Then I spotted them: a bunch (if that’s the correct word for a gang Read more »

I remember living in a foreign country well. That’s not to say that I enjoyed every moment of it, or that “well”was the word that first came out of my mouth when someone asked “how you are getting on with the language, then?”(usually it was “crap, thanks”), but that I remember The Struggle vividly. One of the main annoying things about The Struggle was trying to decipher the newspapers – without a decent (or even moderate) grasp of the language Read more »

Hi so this is a little random, but here we go…
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After I’d read the comedy book skiing in italy and how much fun it is, even when you fall down repeatedly, I read the book Yes Man by Danny Wallace. My conclusion was that Yes, saying Yes is a very good idea. But it’s not a great idea. All it does (like in the book) is get you in to trouble. Yes, there are some wicked adventures to be had by saying Yes to everything, but let me tell you Read more »